bf purposely got me pregnant then ran off - Pregnancy-Info (2024)

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Bf Purposely Got Me Pregnant Then Ran Off

15 Replies

Gwen - December 8

I think my ex boyfriend purposely got me pregnant. He claimed he really wanted children, etc..etc.. He knew I wasn't on the pill (i know it's partially my fault). He wouldn't pull out. I kept harping about it, but he would denying c_ming (right). I got freaked out and started using spermicide. It only took me less than a month to get pregnant. After we found out he refused to take me to the abortion clinic and later confessed to charting my periods. I'm due in two weeks. I haven't seen much of him. He's a heavy drug user. Now he's denying paternity. I doubt that he will come around. We were together for 2 years. It wasn't like I didn't know him well. We had always used condoms as birth control before. From a males perspective is it normal to want to get a woman pregnant than run off? Does it make men feel more like men knowing that they have a genetic link in this world? He already has another child who is 8 with another woman. He has a relationship with this child, though I'm not sure how good it is. So, I doubt it's fear that makes him run.


>>> - December 9

Sad, sad, sad. I hope it works out for you, but why didn't you make sure to protect yourself?


Jbear - December 9

I dated a guy like that before, who kept talking about wanting to get me pregnant...I never actually had s_x with him because the whole baby thing freaked me out. Later on I found out he was already married and had a baby who wasn't even a year old. I never could figure out what his deal was. If your guy uses a lot of drugs, it's probably better if he's not around, but you should see about getting child support from him. I don't know how it works in every state, but here in TX the state will pay for the paternity test if the guy denies being the father, and then if he's the father he has to pay the state back for the test.


to Gwen - December 9

I don't mean to scare you, but if someone does something s_xual to you (whether it is the whole act or just part of the act of having s_x) against your will, it is called rape... whether it is done by someone you know or you don't know. That's probably the least of your worries right now, but maybe you could get him somehow on a nonconsensual act. He forced this on you, & it was during s_x.


skinnyminny - December 10

she just said, not the whoel act but part of the act. You consented to teh s_x but not the ejacul*tion inside you, therefor, he sort of, raped your uterus... sounds dumb, but i dont know how else to reiderate what Gwen just said. Basically, he did something you definately told him not to do, so it's very "rape-like"


js - December 10

no no no no no ... If you consent to s_x - you consent to the entire thing - it's not rape - get off it...sounds to me like she knew he was trying to get her pregnant just by talking about kids - if she didn't she should have been the one to protect herself. Why she didn't? Ask her. Best of luck to her now though ..


Gwen - December 11

Well I was using VCF strips and I went to my doctor to get on the pill. I was going to start, but my period never showed up. I honestly though, foolishly, that it would take longer than one cycle to get pregnant. It was kind of like rape. I didn't ask to get pregnant. I did ask him to stop and he wouldn't. But I DO feel like (in retrospect) that it's partially my fault because I didn' have to let him in the door. However, this is all hindsight. My real question is for a male (or insightful female) as to WHY a person would do this? I guess it would be easier if he was around helping me out.


bonnie - December 11

Like js said - if you consent to the act - your in for the entire thing - no one "consents" to get pregnant when they are not trying - it's part of the RISK you take. No way was this rape - sorry...


anita - December 11

i think that sometimes guys try to trap women w/ pregnancy just like some women do w/ men. my ex-fiance was desperate to get me pregnant and i think the reason was so that we'd always have ties to each other. he was an extremely controlling guy and although i loved him more than anything, i had to leave him because of his temper. he never hit me , but that's the route i saw our relationship taking. he also had a drug problem. i think that w/ my ex, he knew that w/ his being the way he was, as much as i loved him, it was only a matter of time before i realized that i couldn't live that way... the only way we'd always have ties to each other would be if we had a child together. i only mention all this b/c maybe this guy really did think he loved you, but b/c of his drug problem, did't think you'd stay around. and i think he wanted you pregnant to insure that you'd always be around. maybe now, he figures that he's trapped you w/ his baby, so he's not worried about losing you anymore. i also only think that he's denying paternity to avoid child support. you already knew he wasn't a responsible person. and depending on what drugs he's using, you why he's not coming around. well... i know i'm not a guy, and i may be wrong but that is why i think he tried to get you pregnant. i'm sorry that you've had to go through this alone, but since he's still using drugs heavily, it's probably best for him not to be around the newborn. maybe he'll come around when he quits using. take care and good luck w/ your delivery.


teigan - December 12

im not been awful but there is no such thing as pulling out... a man can still get you pregnant regardless wether he has c_m or not, this bloke needs a good kick up the arse, stay well away from him, he is not worth it and to me sounds like he wouldnt be much of a dad anyway, you would be doing you and your child more harm than good staying with him, or taking him back, hope you find someone nice xx


Gwen - December 16

to me: apparently you've never been around drugs or people who do drugs. Could some just address the questions and stop judging me and my actions?


gwen - December 16

Why would I post faulty information on an online anonymous forum? I'm seeking truthful answers. To ME:::: I know plenty of lawyers (successful ones) and doctors on drugs. You don't have to be a low life sc_m bag to take drugs. I did not hope that he would stay with me. I was the one who wanted it over. I am the one who doesn't want child support. I do not want him around me or my child. I simply wanted to know from a male’s perspective what would drive a man to do something like this. If you can't answer that question than you should keep your "shut up" comments to yourself because they aren't the nicest thing to say, especially to a pregnant woman whose been through a devastating 9 months. I'd also pick up a copy of an English grammar book and learn how to use punctuation.


paul - February 11

maybe he was trying to get you back. maybe he's a really evil guy and he got p__sed off at something yuo said or did. perhaps it was a vindictive act.


Ed - February 12

Gwen, I don't know if you're still gonna be reading this, but...it doesn't matter if the drug user is a lawyer, doctor, hobo, salesman, whatever. The point is that he is a druguser and not a man. when you talk to an addict, you're not talking to a human being, you're talking to a vessel poisoned by either chemicals, alcohol or whatever substance they use. They lie, they are unreliable, they are unpredictable, they manipulate and so on regardless of whatever job they occupy. The fact that you use occupation does not make it less bad and it's also disconcerning because it shows to a certain extent that you think it's normal. If you want an answer to your question, you should ask someone who has experience working with long time drug users and not normal men.


Bruce - February 12

you probably aren't the only woman he has gotten pregnant. it could be a thing for him. perhaps he got tired of you and thought, "this is my farewell gift."


StressedToo - February 15

Not to be an a__s or anything and I can usually relate to other people's feelings but saying he got you pregnant and blaming the responsability on him is wrong. You knew you could get pregnant and didn't take it in your own hands to prevent it. You say he is a heavy drug user and you still want him to be around your child?


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bf purposely got me pregnant then ran off - Pregnancy-Info (2024)

FAQs

What to do when your boyfriend denies your pregnancy? ›

Here are a few things to consider:
  1. Take Some Time To Process. First off, don't panic. ...
  2. Find The Underlying Cause of Your Partner's Resistance. ...
  3. Make The Right Decision For YOU. ...
  4. Visit Your Local Pregnancy Center.
Oct 20, 2021

How do you tell your boyfriend you're pregnant through text? ›

Once you have an idea of where and how you want to tell him you are pregnant, you just need to reach out even if it is via text or snapchat. Consider saying something like, “Hey, can we talk? I've been thinking about us and I really need to tell you something. I hope you're free in the next few hours so we can chat.”

Should I tell him I'm pregnant? ›

If you're in an intimate and healthy relationship with your partner, I say tell them right away. This is not something you should have to deal with by yourself. (Besides, if your S.O. is at all perceptive, they are going to sense that something is going on.)

Can a relationship survive an unplanned pregnancy? ›

While an unplanned pregnancy doesn't have to impact your relationship in a negative way, it can certainly do just that. Some new relationships are unable to withstand the pressure of an unexpected pregnancy. This doesn't mean your relationship is a failure; it's just that things happened at the wrong time.

What is psychological denial of pregnancy? ›

Women with psychotic denial of pregnancy have long-term mental disorders such as schizophrenia, which continues throughout pregnancy. They may waver between open acceptance and strong denial of their pregnancy. When they are in denial, they refuse to accept that their symptoms are to do with the pregnancy.

How do I accept an unwanted pregnancy? ›

Here are six steps that can help you cope with an unplanned pregnancy:
  1. Acknowledge that you are in shock, and that's okay. Unplanned pregnancy is shocking. ...
  2. Allow yourself to be emotional. ...
  3. Face your doubts. ...
  4. Visualize the different options. ...
  5. Don't let finances be your top concern. ...
  6. Find non-judgmental support.
Jan 15, 2019

Do guys know when they get someone pregnant? ›

The short answer is yes, people of all genders who aren't pregnant can experience pregnancy-like symptoms. In fact, despite not actually carrying a fetus, men whose partners are pregnant have reported experiencing a number of pregnancy symptoms from morning sickness to weight gain during their partner's pregnancy.

What to do if you find out you're pregnant after a breakup? ›

Instead of keeping your feelings to yourself, it can be helpful to talk to someone. Try letting your feelings flow in a healthy way by talking with your friends and/or family. They can listen to what you're going through and provide encouragement.

How long should I wait to tell him I'm pregnant? ›

There's no right or wrong time to tell people you're pregnant. It's up to you to decide what's best for you and, if you have a partner, you may want to decide together. Some people choose to wait until after they've had the first ultrasound scan. It's your baby, so it's up to you.

How long should you wait to tell your partner you're pregnant? ›

Many women choose to delay announcing a pregnancy at least until the end of the first trimester (12 weeks into their pregnancy). This is usually because of concerns about the risk of miscarriage (pregnancy loss) during this time.

How do you say you're pregnant without saying you're pregnant? ›

Creative Ways to Tell People You're Pregnant
  1. Dimitrije Tanaskovic/Stocksy. ...
  2. Give a Surprise Sports Gift. ...
  3. Record Your Reaction. ...
  4. Make a Baby-Themed Meal. ...
  5. Take a Pic of Your Positive Pregnancy Test. ...
  6. Let a Sibling Spill the Beans. ...
  7. Bake a Bun in the Oven. ...
  8. Drop Hints at a Holiday Party.
Oct 13, 2021

How does a man feel when his partner is pregnant? ›

Symptoms of Couvade Syndrome. Physical signs and symptoms of sympathetic pregnancy (couvade syndrome in men) can include the following: Nausea and/or vomiting. Intestinal problems such as abdominal pain, bloating, diarrhea, constipation.

How do you know when your partner doesn't care anymore? ›

Couple's relationship coach in Fairmont, West Virginia, Cheri Timko says other signs that someone doesn't care about you may include if they: don't value mutuality in the relationship. fail to show any interest or curiosity in you or your life. have a different agenda for the relationship than you do.

How do I tell my baby daddy I'm pregnant? ›

Tips for Conversations with Your Baby's Father
  1. Plan what you want to say. Take time to think about how you'll begin. ...
  2. Bring support to your meeting. You don't have to go it alone. ...
  3. Be ready for reactions. Think back to all the emotions you felt when you learned you were unexpectedly pregnant. ...
  4. Talk about your options.

How many couples stay together after unplanned pregnancy? ›

Reports have shown that one-fifth of couples break up during the 12 months after an unplanned birth. However, whether or not a couple will split depends on many factors such as the emotional maturity of both partners, financial security, and other stressors.

How does unwanted pregnancy affect the mother? ›

Women with unplanned pregnancies that were unwanted are more likely to smoke, use illicit drugs and be at greater risk for maternal anxiety and depression.

How many unmarried couples break up after having a baby? ›

Among the approximately 30 percent of unmarried parents who are romantically involved but not cohabiting when the baby is born, 77 percent have broken up and only 7 percent are married to each other five years later.

What is it called when your body tries to reject pregnancy? ›

Chronic histiocytic intervillositis – or CHI – is a rare and serious condition in which the immune system reacts abnormally to pregnancy, damaging the placenta in the womb. This can prevent the baby from growing properly, and in more severe cases, can cause miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death.

What is a delusion of pregnancy called? ›

Pseudocyesis, or false pregnancy, is when a person believes they are pregnant when they are not. It's also called a phantom pregnancy. With pseudocyesis, a person has pregnancy symptoms and feels pregnant.

What is pregnancy dissociation? ›

During childbirth, some people respond to these triggers by dissociating, where thoughts, feelings, memories, sense of the world or sense of self are disconnected. Some describe this as out-of-body experience.

What to do if you have an unwanted baby? ›

If you have an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, you have three options. You can raise the baby, choose adoption, or have an abortion. It is important to talk to people you trust and get accurate information.

How common are unwanted pregnancies? ›

for every 1,000 women aged 15–44 in the United States. In other words, nearly 5% of reproductive-age women have an unintended pregnancy each year.

How do you ignore unwanted pregnancy? ›

9 Ways to Avoid Pregnancy
  1. Contraception.
  2. Don't miss a dose.
  3. Be on time.
  4. Double up.
  5. Use condoms correctly.
  6. Track your ovulation.
  7. Emergency contraception.
  8. Think long term.
Oct 9, 2017

Do men change when their partner is pregnant? ›

The expectant fathers showed drops in testosterone and estradiol – a form of estrogen – but no changes in cortisol or progesterone, two hormones that are implicated in stress, say the authors. Past research has suggested that new fathers have lower levels of testosterone, but it wasn't known when the decline begins.

Do guys lose interest pregnant? ›

Another study, published in the American Journal of Human Biology, found that expectant fathers experience drops in testosterone — the hormone most closely associated with male sex drive. Different couples will go through different experiences. Some might just have a harder time barreling through.

Do men nest when partner is pregnant? ›

But, did you know that nesting isn't just for moms-to-be? Yes, it's true: partners and husbands nest before Baby arrives. Whether you're diving into a home repair or DIY project to get the house ready for Baby's debut, or obsessing over reading up on car seat safety, you're an example of male nesting.

How does a break up affect a baby? ›

A child can experience grief, anger, sadness and confusion over the breakup of their family. They may blame themselves. Find sources of emotional support for yourself, so that you have the strength to help your child. Avoid criticising the other parent in front of your child.

What are the three stages of pregnancy broken up into? ›

The Three Trimesters
  • First Trimester (0 to 13 Weeks) The first trimester is the most crucial to your baby's development. ...
  • Second Trimester (14 to 26 Weeks) ...
  • Third Trimester (27 to 40 Weeks)

Is 2 weeks pregnant too early to tell family? ›

There are no rules to when you announce your pregnancy. Some women wait until they're 20 weeks, others can't wait for the home pregnancy test to dry! Social norms can change and adapt, if you want to unroll a banner on the bridge or put an announcement in the paper, it's up to you.

Who should you tell first you're pregnant? ›

Friends. You'll most likely want to tell your closest friends first. Then, whenever you feel more comfortable, you can broaden the group, or make an official announcement on social media. But be aware that the news might slip out of even the most well-meaning friend or relative.

Is 5 weeks too early to tell family? ›

You might want to tell your partner and/or family that you're pregnant early so they can support you through those early symptoms. However, some like to wait until the risk of miscarriage is low (after the first trimester) before revealing the news, so five weeks might be too early.

What week do most miscarriages occur? ›

Most miscarriages - 8 out of 10 (80 percent) - happen in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 (1 to 5 percent) pregnancies. Pregnancy loss that happens after 20 weeks is called stillbirth.

How big is the baby at 5 weeks pregnant? ›

Your baby's nervous system is already developing, and the foundations for its major organs are in place. At this stage, the embryo is around 2mm long.

What causes miscarriage? ›

Most miscarriages occur because the fetus isn't developing as expected. About 50 percent of miscarriages are associated with extra or missing chromosomes. Most often, chromosome problems result from errors that occur by chance as the embryo divides and grows — not problems inherited from the parents.

What's the easiest way to tell your pregnant? ›

Classic signs and symptoms of pregnancy
  • Missed period. If you're in your childbearing years and a week or more has passed without the start of an expected menstrual cycle, you might be pregnant. ...
  • Tender, swollen breasts. ...
  • Nausea with or without vomiting. ...
  • Increased urination. ...
  • Fatigue.

Do men get tired when their girlfriend is pregnant? ›

It's not uncommon for people to experience restless nights, heartburnand bouts of fatigue while their partners are pregnant. In fact, about 11 percent of fathers experience anxiety during the pre- and postnatal period.

What happens to the sperm when a woman is already pregnant? ›

Most of it will simply be discharged from the body through the vagin*l opening. Thanks to the placenta, amniotic sac, and mucus plug covering the cervix, your baby has a protection system that's very specific about what goes in and stays out!

Can a baby feel his father during pregnancy? ›

Baby may start to know when their father is touching mom's belly. Babies can sense touch from anyone, but they can also sense when touch (and voice) is familiar. And by 24 weeks into pregnancy, dad can usually feel baby kick – but the exact time varies.

What are the signs that a relationship is over? ›

What does real trouble look like?
  • There's no emotional connection. ...
  • Communication breakdown. ...
  • Aggressive or confrontational communication. ...
  • There's no appeal to physical intimacy. ...
  • You don't trust them. ...
  • Fantasising about others. ...
  • You're not supporting each other and have different goals. ...
  • You can't imagine a future together.

What is stonewalling in a relationship? ›

What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.

How do you know it's the end of a relationship? ›

There's No Emotional Connection

One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy ​relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.

How do men react to unplanned pregnancy? ›

Some men may be angry about the news of the pregnancy and may be tempted to lash out. In some cases, the anger could lead to him demanding to terminate the pregnancy or threatening violence. Unplanned pregnancies can put a strain on relationships that were unstable to begin with.

How can I find out the father of my unborn child without DNA? ›

Determining Paternity without a DNA Test?
  1. Date of Conception. There are ways to estimate date of conception, which can be found all over the web. ...
  2. Eye-Color Test. An eye-color paternity test shows how eye color and inherited-trait theory can be used to help estimate paternity. ...
  3. Blood-Type Test.
Dec 27, 2010

How do I get my boyfriend to accept my pregnancy? ›

Here are some suggestions to make it less overwhelming:
  1. Share the News in Person If Possible. It's almost always best to share big news face to face. ...
  2. Be Honest. ...
  3. Give Space for His Response. ...
  4. Discuss the Future. ...
  5. Consider the Practicalities. ...
  6. Address Any Concerns.
May 11, 2023

What happens when a man denies a child? ›

If the father won't agree or offer his cooperation regarding the fathership tests, the court can be approached to order the father to offer his cooperation. In this case the court will weigh the father's human rights against those of the child and usually the court will act in the interest of the child.

How do I get over the disappointment of not getting pregnant? ›

Here are 12 things to keep in mind as you try to cope with the challenges of getting pregnant.
  1. Don't Let the Two-Week Wait Take Over. ...
  2. Don't Overdo Pregnancy Tests. ...
  3. Don't Let Your Period Get You Down. ...
  4. Reclaim What You Used to Love. ...
  5. Connect With Your Partner. ...
  6. Prioritize Self-Care. ...
  7. Acknowledge Difficult Feelings.
Jul 18, 2020

What to do when you want to have a baby and your partner doesn t? ›

What If My Partner Doesn't Want Kids, And I Do?
  1. Forgive Yourself For Not Addressing it “Sooner” ...
  2. Get Professional Help. ...
  3. Explore All Roads to Parenthood. ...
  4. Try and Parse Out Whether 'Not Now' Really Means 'Never' ...
  5. Consider Your Own Motivations. ...
  6. Understand Your Partner's Motivations. ...
  7. Put Yourself in The Other's Place — Literally.
May 27, 2021

How do you bond with an unexpected pregnancy? ›

Coping with an Unplanned Pregnancy
  1. Acknowledge that you are in shock, and that's okay. Unplanned pregnancy is shocking. ...
  2. Allow yourself to be emotional. ...
  3. Face your doubts. ...
  4. Visualize the different options. ...
  5. Don't let finances be your top concern. ...
  6. Find non-judgmental support.
Jan 15, 2019

Do relationships struggle during pregnancy? ›

Pregnancy will bring about big changes to your relationship, especially if this is your first baby. Some people cope with these changes easily, while others find it harder. It's quite common for couples to have arguments every now and then during pregnancy.

What happens if a man denies paternity? ›

If they show up but still deny the child, the court will ask them to submit reliable genetic tests. The genetic tests will show that he is the child's father, and with that evidence the court will establish legal parentage and add the father's name to your child's birth certificate.

How do you accept you won't have a child? ›

What to Do If You Regret Not Having Kids
  1. Acknowledge & Accept Your Feelings. Acknowledging your emotions about not having children is an important step in coping with these feelings and working towards acceptance. ...
  2. Learn Healthy Coping Skills. ...
  3. Don't Compare Yourself to Others. ...
  4. Find a Therapist.
Feb 2, 2021

At what age do men have trouble having kids? ›

Although most men are able to have children well into their 50s and beyond, it becomes gradually more difficult after the age of 40 . There are many reasons for this, including: Sperm quality tends to decrease with age.

What is considered struggling to get pregnant? ›

Overview. If you and your partner are struggling to have a baby, you're not alone. In the United States, 10% to 15% of couples are infertile. Infertility is defined as not being able to get pregnant despite having frequent, unprotected sex for at least a year for most couples.

What happens if you are pregnant and don't want to be? ›

If you decide not to continue with your pregnancy, you can talk to a GP or visit a sexual health clinic to discuss your options. They can refer you for an assessment at a clinic or hospital if you choose to have an abortion. Sexwise: pregnant and don't know what to do?

Why am I not getting pregnant what am I doing wrong? ›

You could be worrying that you never will. However, there are many possible reasons why you aren't conceiving, including ovulation irregularities, structural problems in the reproductive system, low sperm count, underlying medical problems, or simply not trying enough.

How long should you be together to have a baby? ›

What's the best interval between pregnancies? To reduce the risk of pregnancy complications and other health problems, research suggests waiting 18 to 24 months but less than five years after a live birth before attempting your next pregnancy.

What happens if you have a baby you don't want? ›

If you become pregnant and you're either not ready to be a parent or you don't want to have a baby, know that you're not alone and you do have options. You can choose to terminate the pregnancy with an abortion or put your baby up for adoption. It's a big choice and one that can feel overwhelming.

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